The last time Osama released a major new pronouncement on how he saw the world, I was a vaguely-productive student of international relations with a rather fun little column in
Incite magazine, and he was living in a cave. Today, I'm an unemployed university graduate no longer writing said column, and he's, evidently, still living in a cave. It is as if Osama and I have been growing old together, or something like that.
Back then--fall 2004, I believe--I had written how bin Laden had possibly hit upon a winning media strategy in that video by cutting back on the repetitive Islamic mumbo-jumbo about Satan and goats and virgins and all that, and instead aiming his message more explicitly at the people of the West in language that they'd understand. Much as they'd deny it strenuously at the time, a grumpy American public, disgusted with Bush (though not, evidently, quite ready to vote his ass out) and wearied by the rapidly-derailing Iraq war, was actually in a mindset where they'd be willing to hear this guy out. Now, this is certainly not the same thing as giving him an opportunity to convert them, or even softening their opposition to his breathing. But for the first time since the body-politic's critical reasoning skills had been snuffed out on 9/11, something approaching political debate between the two opposing protagonists of the War on Terror was coming about.
Rather than see him as some sort of mindless fanatical savage driven by the forces of instinct to seek and consume the blood of children, with that video CNN accorded Osama the status of a legitimate political actor: a human being with a particular worldview aware of and capable of rebutting some of the more spurious accusations levelled against him and his movement. One remark that's still with me to this day was his line about those casting the conflict as between democracy and its enemies: "If Bush says we hate freedom, let him tell us why we didn't attack Sweden," he cracked, if that's the right word.
It is, quite simply, a great line, and the funny thing is that despite four years of searching for rhetoric to counter Bush, nobody on the lefty end of things over here had managed to come with a refutation that was quite so punchy as one that came from the evildoer-in-chief himself. The other golden nugget was Osama's inaugural venture into
Daily Show territory: "It never occurred to us that the Commander-in-Chief of the country would leave 50,000 citizens in the two towers to face those horrors alone because he thought listening to a child discussing her goats was more important." With that line, somewhere in Texas, an American--maybe even two or three--was laughing as Osama bin Laden took shots at Bush. How far we'd come.
Anyway, through the magic of camcorders and some little brown kid named Abdul who probably rode a donkey over five major ranges of the Hindu Kush carrying the tape for broadcast, Osama is up for a sequel. And through the magic of my barely-read blog, so am I.
First, though, let's get something out of the way. In this post I have thus far been, all told, pretty darn nice to Osama. If he's reading this thanks to his rockin' Wi-Fi connection, he might be heartened that the weeny libruls are coming around. He shouldn't. Osama is a bad man. He is, in no uncertain terms, a terrorist. He kills people. He hates people because of how they were born. And, like any politician, he doesn't necessarily mean what he says. Nobody should want to live in a world where Osama has any influence. Osama explicitly wants you to read the transcript of his video, and to let that influence your thinking. If you keep reading, in a small way, you damn well are doing what he wants you to do and are expanding that very influence.
That said, I strongly believe that it is impossible to hold an informed opinion as to the geopolitical state of the world today
without reading that transcript. So what do you say you click
here, and we can be traitorous hippies together?
Allow me to begin by noting that it would appear Osama covered some Shakespeare in his schooling:
"People of America: I shall be speaking to you on important topics which concern you, so lend me your ears. I begin by discussing the war which is between us and some of its repercussions for us and you."
The first major chunk is interesting, inasmuch as if you clipped out the references to Allah and punched up the grammatical complexity a few notches, it could pass as a
Harper's editorial by Lewis Lapham. Through my actions, Osama seems to be saying, America has revealed its nasty side. Damn right I'm ultimately on the same side as the neocons and the military-industrial complex. I wanted a global War on Terror, I had comparatively few resources to spark one, and you can't deny I succeeded.
"To preface, I say: despite America being the greatest economic power and possessing the most powerful and up-to-date military arsenal as well; and despite it spending on this war and is army more than the entire world spends on its armies; and despite it being the major state influencing the policies of the world, as if it has a monopoly on the unjust right of veto; despite all of this, 19 young men were able – by the grace of Allah, the Most High – to change the direction of its compass. And in fact, the subject of the Mujahidean has become an inseparable part of the speech of your leader, and the effects and signs of that are not hidden. Since the 11th, many of America’s policies have come under the influence of the Mujahideen, and that is by the grace of Allah, the Most High. And as a result, the people discovered the truth about it, its reputation worsened, its prestige was broken globally and it was bled dry economically, even if our interests overlap with the interests of the major corporations and also with those of the neoconservative, despite the differing intentions."
Osama's discovery of the delightful connotative charge that is coupled to the world "neoconservative" tickles me oddly. It as if he realized that right-wingers routinely accuse dailyKOS and moveon.org and their ilk of talking like the terrorists despite that being completely off-base, and the most entertaining way to create a subspace inversion field and collapse the blogosphere in on itself would be for the terrorists to start talking like dailyKOS.
Moving on (no pun intended), we've got this rather startling talking point from Osama bin Laden: he's apparently an adherent of the "The Holocaust: It Really Happened!" school of history.
"And among the most important items contained in Bush’s speeches since the events of the 11th is that the Americans have no option but to continue the war. This tone is in fact an echoing of the words of neoconservatives like Cheney, Rumsfeld and Richard Pearle, the latter having said previously that the Americans have no choice in front of them other than to continue the war or face a holocaust.
I say, refuting this unjust statement, that the morality and culture of the holocaust is your culture, not our culture. In fact, burning living beings is forbidden in our religion, even if they be small like the ant, so what of man!? The holocaust of the Jews was carried out by your brethren in the middle of Europe, but had it been closer to our countries, most of the Jews would have been saved by taking refuge with us. And my proof for that is in what your brothers, the Spanish, did when they set up the horrible courts of the Inquisition to try Muslims and Jews, when the Jews only found safe shelter by taking refuge in our countries. And that is why the Jewish community in Morocco today is one of the largest communities in the world. They are alive with us and we have not incinerated them."
I don't know how many times I can write this without the blog being intercepted by ECHELON and me being whisked away to a cell by CSIS, but, erm, can I just say he's, well, right?
"Also, your Christian brothers have been living among us for 14 centuries: in Egypt alone, there are millions of Christians whom we have not incinerated and shall not incinerate. But the fact is, there is a continuing and biased campaign being waged against us for a long time now by your politicians and many of your writers by way of your media, especially Hollywood, for the purpose of misrepresenting Islam and its adherents to drive you away from the true religion. The genocide of peoples and their holocausts took place at your hands! Only a few specimens of Red Indians were spared, and just a few days ago, the Japanese observe the 62nd anniversary of the annihilation of Hiroshima and Nagasaki by your nuclear weapons."
I think that marks the first time Michael Bay has been called out on his theatrical filth by a terrorist mastermind.
"People of America: the world is following your news in regards to your invasion of Iraq, for people have recently come to know that, after several years of the tragedies of this war, the vast majority of you want it stopped. Thus, you elected the Democratic Party for this purpose, but the Democrats haven’t made a move worth mentioning. On the contrary, they continue to agree to the spending of tens of billions to continue the killing and war there, which has led to the vast majority of you being afflicted with disappointment. And here is the gist of the matter, so one should pause, think and reflect: why have the Democrats failed to stop this war, despite them being the majority?"
With this passage Nancy Pelosi probably breathed a huge sigh of relief, because the last thing you want is Osama saying nice things about you.
I think the next chunk qualifies as my favourite:
"I will come back to reply to this question after raising another question, which is:
'Why are the leaders of the White House keen to start wars and wage them around the world, and make use of every possible opportunity through which they can reach this purpose, occasionally creating justifications based on deception and blatant lies, as you saw Iraq?'
In the Vietnam War, the leaders of the White House claimed at the time that it was a necessary and crucial war, and during it, Rumsfeld and his aides murdered two million villagers. And when Kennedy took over the presidency and deviated from the general line of policy drawn up for the White House and wanted to stop this unjust war, that angered the owners of the major corporations who were benefiting from its continuation.
And so Kennedy was killed, and al-Qaida wasn’t present at that time, but rather, those corporations were the primary beneficiary from his killing. And the war continued after that for approximately one decade. But after it became clear to you that it was an unjust and unnecessary war, you made one of your greatest mistakes, in that you neither brought to account nor punished those who waged this war, not even the most violent of its murderers, Rumsfeld."
I don't honestly know where to start. For the conspiracy theorists out there, I think this is as close as you're going to get as an official denial that al-Qaida assasinated JFK. I find Osama's insistence that JFK was days away from changing course significantly in Vietnam really quite interesting. It's by no means a tinfoil-hat theory, but there's still some enduring historical controversy and debate on the subject. The assasination by the military-industrial complex line seriously has me contemplating the image of bin Laden sitting in a cave munching popcorn after getting some minion to run down to the Blockbuster in the valley below to pick up Oliver Stone's
JFK.
"This war was entirely unnecessary, as testified to by your own reports. And among the most capable of those from your own side who speak to you on this topic and on the manufacturing of public opinion is Noam Chomsky, who spoke sober words of advice prior to the war, but the leader of Texas doesn’t like those who give advice. The entire world came out in unprecedented demonstrations to warn against waging the war and describe its true nature in eloquent terms like “no to spilling red blood for black oil,” yet he paid them no heed. It is time for humankind to know that talk of the rights of man and freedom are lies produced by the White House and its allies in Europe to deceive humans, take control of their destinies and subjugate them."
There you have it. Osama's read Chomsky's
Manufacturing Consent, or at least the Coles' Notes. I guess he does have a lot of time for reading on his hands these days.
"So in answer to the question about the causes of the Democrats’ failure to stop the war, I say: they are the same reasons which led to the failure of former president Kennedy to stop the Vietnam war. Those with real power and influence are those with the most capital. And since the democratic system permits major corporations to back candidates, be they presidential or congressional, there shouldn’t be any cause for astonishment – and there isn’t any – in the Democrats’ failure to stop the war. And you’re the ones who have the saying which goes, “Money talks.” And I tell you: after the failure of your representatives in the Democratic Party to implement your desire to stop the war, you can still carry anti-war placards and spread out in the streets of major cities, then go back to your homes, that that will be of no use and will lead to the prolonging of the war."
Shit. I think I have to agree with him again.
Anyway, next up is the part that totally convinced to write this post, because it just completely blows my mind.
"It has now become clear to you and the entire world the impotence of the democratic system and how it plays with the interests of the peoples and their blood by sacrificing soldiers and populations to achieve the interests of the major corporations. And with that, it has become clear to all that they are the real tyrannical terrorists. In fact, the life of all of mankind is in danger because of the global warming resulting to a large degree from the emissions of the factories of the major corporations, yet despite that, the representative of these corporations in the White House insists on not observing the Kyoto accord, with the knowledge that the statistic speaks of the death and displacement of the millions of human beings because of that, especially in Africa. This greatest of plagues and most dangerous of threats to the lives of humans is taking place in an accelerating fashion as the world is being dominated by the democratic system, which confirms its massive failure to protect humans and their interests from the greed and avarice of the major corporations and their representatives."
Osama bin Laden believes in global warming, and feels it necessary to bring the subject into his video.
What. The. Fuck.
Firstly, there will be "Osama bin Laden believes in global warming" bumper stickers on sale by the end of the week. The line will be cited by an oil industry spin-doctor by then, too. I guarantee it.
I've often caught myself pondering what it was that knocked global warming onto everyone's lips, and what's its final resting position will be in the political constellation of our times in terms of priority, and all the various examples of it really worming its way into the
zeitgeist. Arnold Schwarchenegger made it the centrepiece of his term in office. Al Gore rode the issue back to an arguably higher place in the national consciousness than he'd managed during his term as VP or stint as presidential candidate. Stephen Harper started believing in it and mentioning it in most political speeches. George W. Bush kinda started believing in it and mentioning it in some political speeches. And now fucking bin Laden's on the bandwagon, too?
No joke, I am legitimately curious if Osama's seen
An Inconvenient Truth. I am legitimately curious if his statement of belief will actually turn some Americans into climate-change deniers. I am legitimately now half-expecting Osama to to mention how crappy America's health care system is in his next video.
And as if the above wasn't enough, bin Laden's weird and wonderful trip into the pages of
Socialist Worker is only going to go further:
"And despite this brazen attack on the people, the leaders of the West – especially Bush, Blair, Sarkozy and Brown – still talk about freedom and human rights with a flagrant disregard for the intellects of human beings. So is there a form of terrorism stronger, clearer and more dangerous than this? This is why I tell you: as you liberated yourselves before from the slavery of monks, kings, and feudalism, you should liberate yourselves from the deception, shackles and attrition of the capitalist system.
If you were to ponder it well, you would find that in the end, it is a system harsher and fiercer than your systems in the Middle Ages. The capitalist system seeks to turn the entire world into a fiefdom of the major corporations under the label of “globalization” in order to protect democracy.
And Iraq and Afghanistan and their tragedies; and the reeling of many of you under the burden of interest-related debts, insane taxes and real estate mortgages; global warming and its woes; and the abject poverty and tragic hunger in Africa: all of this is but one side of the grim face of this global system.
So it is imperative that you free yourselves from all of that and search for an alternative, upright methodology in which it is not the business of any class of humanity to lay down its own laws to its own advantage at the expense of the other classes as is the case with you, since the essence of man-made positive laws is that they serve the interests of those with the capital and thus make the rich richer and the poor poorer."
I think it was at this point in reading Osama's spiel that I seriously started pondering the possibility that he could actually gain the status as being a sort of folk hero to some Westerners on the political left. Like, I'm talking Osama Che shirts, because he's treading seriously close to that sort of territory. Until now, nobody, not even the least-showered and most-dreadlocked of middle-class white kids have actually been willing to say "Osama is right about most of the stuff he talks about." Could that change? The whole killing-intellectuals and starving millions of people part has never prevented some people in the West from embracing Mao as a personal hero. With that in mind, surely it would be possible for some people to overlook the theocratic outlook and senseless death and destruction part of Osama's rap sheet?
(Digression: of note in this chunk is Osama slipping in the old timestamp trick: reference to the American mortgage crisis and Brown and Sarkozy coming to power. The man keeps up on his news.)
Back in the depths of the Cold War, America went out of its way to label every manner of tin-pot revolutionary movement in the developing world as "Marxist," and its batting average in that respect was pretty brutal. Saddam was, from time to time, labeled a communist, as were the Iranian revolutionaries.
But, I shit you not, I'm now thinking that filing bin Ladenism in the class-conscious leftism drawer might actually have some intellectual merit. Sure, Marx wouldn't have been so keen on the reactionary Islamic archconservatism, but I don't think the blogging right-wing crazies are going to let that get in their way. Much as they've been fond of the term "Islamofascism" because it gives the War on Terror a Churchillian sheen and lets them roll with the ever-popular Hitler metaphors, you know deep down they'd far rather call it "Islamocommunism" or maybe something scarier and more quaint like "Islamobolshevism." Weirdly enough, there might be an iota of intellectual honesty there.
Of course, in the remainder of the speech--which I won't excerpt because it's boring and stuffed with religious stuff--Osama does quite strenuously disavow a substantial enough chunk of Marxist thought that I think he may remain safely off the red T-shirts of the nation for the time being. He makes it quite clear that in his utopian vision of government, all law will flow from the Qu'ran. He then segues into a fairly lengthy appeal for the world to convert and become a happy cuddly Islamic Caliphate, which even includes a weird aside explaining to those silly Christians out there that Islam likes Jesus and the Virgin Mary, too. There's a kinda kitschy sincerity to the whole thing--I, for one, was struck with a weird naiveté on Osama's part: here he is, actually explaining to Americans why they should sit up and become Muslims, as if he honestly doesn't realize he's not exactly his faith's best salesman.
Silly as certain arguments are, the piece in its entirety undeniably comprises a coherent piece of rhetoric. It certainly proves that along with FDR, Hitler and Kennedy, bin Laden deserves study as one of those figures who truly advanced the art of political communication: these sporadic Osamavision dispatches are almost a sort of
Triumph of the Will for the age of YouTube.
Other disorganized thoughts:
- Zero mentions of Israel, the Palestinian situation, the evils of Zionism etc., which I think further establishes the video's intended audience is not the "Arab street" but the Western street.
- Osama really has it in for Rumsfeld, lashing him the hardest as a bad bad man, and seemingly labeling him as the grand architect of the neocon agenda. Cheney gets off with a bare mention, and references to Richard Perle and Richard Armitage suggests Osama has some idea of the total roster of folks at play. No Rove.
- Osama references some European thinker who predicted the fall of the Soviet Union. Anybody know who's he's talking about? I recall learning at one point that part of the whole upheaval of IR theory post-1989 was brought on precisely because academia had completely failed to predict such a thing.
- Does Osama speak any English? Surely someone who understands the power of the soundbyte would realize that throwing in a few choice words in English would instantly get them on constant rotation on CNN.
- So Osama believes in Global Warming. For his next trick, can he tell us how old the Earth is, and maybe even where humans come from?
- In addition to getting his Chomsky on, we now know bin Ladin has read Michael Scheuer's Imperial Hubris: Why the West is Losing the War on Terror. Why? Because Osama tells us. That can't be a fun endorsement to deal with, and I somehow doubt it'll appear on the dust jacket of the next edition. I'm really digging the irony of Osama recommending a book by the guy who spent several years trying to kill him.
Update, next day: "Azzam the American" appears to be the ghostwriter
responsible for much of the above. Interesting story.
